


QBERT! DON'T GO OVER THERE YOU SMELLY B-STR-D!

by PastaBucket



Category: QBert - Fandom
Genre: Crack, Gen, Tragedy, vent - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-31
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-10-01 08:21:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 554
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17240792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PastaBucket/pseuds/PastaBucket
Summary: Sometimes the shit in my brain just spontaneously come allive.This happens usually after eight cups of coffee.Maybe delete this later on.





	1. Chapter 1

The anus expanded, and through it Qbert was slowly born.

Birth music:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBTVE84Acuk

(Can't find a direct mp3 link, so I can't put it in a player, or I would have.)

Finally pulling his head out of the spincter with a plop, Qbert looked around him.

He was FREE!  
He was also in much shit, cause he was in the toilet.  
Qbert is stuck in shit!  
Will Qbert make it out?  
Yes! With the power of imagination Qbert climbed out!  
Pli-plo-pli-plo-pli-plo-pli-plo!  
Qbert is loose and he's covered in feces!  
Watch out - Qbert is going on a rampage!  
He is passing the toilet stalls, looking for trouble.  
Vi-vo-vi-vo-vi-vo-vi-vo!  
Qbert!  
What are you doing?!  
Don't you know that children will get sick if you hug them?  
Pli-plo-pli-plo-pli-plo-pli-plo!  
Qbert! Why are you looking so dandy?  
Don't you know you're just made out of creaky lego pixels?  
You stink, Qbert!  
Somebody catch Qbert!  
...or PewDiePie will get angry!  
All hail king PewDiePie!  
The ruler of these lands!  
The mighty Swede who rules with an iron fist, crushing all opposition!  
He will tear your asshole a new asshole, Qbert!  
Please come back into my asshole!  
There is lots of warm poo in here.  
Why are you fucking that box, Qbert?  
You don't even have any balls.  
Now you have to pay child support to a stupid box.  
You have ruined your life, Qbert!  
Stupid Qbert, you are such a whore.  
PewDiePie will crush your ass!  
All hail the mighty, mighty son of Thor, The PewDiePie!  
Call him a fag, and he'll tear out your ass!  
Watch out - here comes The PewDiePie!  
Phew - that was close. There he goes.  
The world is a dangerous place.  
It's not for stupid Qberts like you.  
You only wish you could be a real person,  
but you'll never be one, no matter how hard to try!  
You will always be a stupid fucking Qbert!  
...because you don't have any human worth!  
PewDiePie is going to insert his ass into your ass,  
and suck every last peice of shit out of you,  
and then you'll be nothing, Qbert!  
Fuck you, Qbert!  
I hate you so much!

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

In the foreboding throneroom of Bergasal, PewDiePie manspread on his granite throne as the immortal ruler of his realm.  
Shirtless, his manly muscles flexed as he shifted to rest his jaw on his fist, clenching his bushy brows together into a frown to rival even the shortest of dwarves.  
He was more aware of his farts, than he was of Qbert's insolent escapades,   
but still he felt a disturbance, like a challenger contesting his might, only to utterly fail in a cringeworthy way.  
Somebody was making an ass of themselves, and he wasn't there to YLYL.  
This wouldn't do.  
He arose from his seat, and cluched his Swedish viking hand around the hilt of Qbertdrauper - his huge zweihander.  
"Monika...", he said.  
"Uh, I keep telling you my name is Marzia.", the beautiful woman interrupted him.  
"I can't keep track of all the bitches my mighty Swedish dick has ploved through.", he groaned. "Monika, I'm going to leave for a bit, to hunt down a puny little dork roaming the lands, to end his reign of cringe."  
The entirety of Bergasal shook for every heavy step he took.  
Oh no!  
Qbert is so toast!


End file.
